Full.
To the brim.
Overflowing with knowledge.
Too connected to chaos, no longer to the soul.
Never unmoving.
Always running.
Never breathing.
Thoughts consuming.
No time for healing.
Sorrow.
Negativity.
Collapse.
Finally…
Breath.
– – – – – – – – – – – –
In my time away, I’ve rediscovered the serenity found in a single breath. The way it reconnects your mind and your soul. The sense of calm that devours you. I’ve missed that. My vision blurred and my energy shifted from positive to negative in an instant. I couldn’t fathom my own emotions, so focused on deciphering those of the ones around me. I’ve been told countless times my greatest strength is my greatest weakness: helping…caring…empathizing. For so long I’ve dealt with everyone else’s sorrow, remaining present, even when I am not fully there.
I needed to find balance.
Between you and me. Literally, between you (my fans and supporters) and me. It literally tears me apart some of the e-mails I have received about things you have been through and I take it all to heart. I had to release it. As I was falling, so were you and I have this overwhelming desire to “save the world”. My mother has always told me to let that go. To do all I can, but don’t forget about myself.
She’s quickly learned that it’s just who I am.
Eventually, I tore myself down.
All that weight, working so hard, losing sight of my goals, so focused on everyone else’s. On top of uncertainties, missed deadlines, and so many other self-inflicted disparities. It takes you to a mental state of violence. Toxic. Fiery. Madness. My emotional levels can get the best of me, and that’s something I occasionally struggle with. My friends have told me several times, “Your emotions run deeper than the average person and we worry about you.” My cousin has said that to me daily over the past couple of months.
Well…
I worry about me.
Uma terra perigosa. I had to escape it. The land inside my mind. Nature is the best remedy for me. As a creator, I spend too much time inside my thoughts. So…I took some time away to seek balance. Always striving to be the best version of myself. I know I am young and have much to learn with many lessons ahead. At 22 there’s only so much I know, but I do know this: I love my people….my royal warriors. Like I’ve told many of you before, we’re in for a journey and we’re doing it together.
In order to attain all we want in our lifetime and be there for one another we have to remain centered. We have focus. We can do anything. Please, wake up and tell yourselves that. It is true. Truly. As long as you sincerely believe it about yourselves as I do about you. Until next time…
Love Always,
VND
