Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Not a single soul, no matter what it outwardly declares, wants to feel isolated, alone, nor fail. We are a race that wishes to belong to something and succeed at all we attempt. Yet, rooted in the need to belong and progress in life is the fear of rejection. What the hxll is that about? Let’s discuss…
The Fear of Rejection
For every good thing we imagine, we naturally acknowledge the adverse reaction to the goal or destination in mind. That’s rejection lingering. It’s that little voice confirming what you find yourself sadly expecting. What happens when you spend your time expecting the expected instead of the possibility of something great? It the negatives become reality and the positives have nearly vanished.
I begin most of my entries reminding you that you are never alone in that which you face. You are never alone when you sleep nor when you wake. That’s not to say I am under the bed or straight stalking you from your closet. Hahaha. It’s simply to say, we share soul connections through our weaknesses and our triumphs. The Fear Series represents that. It’s from my soul to yours.
Now, we have all dealt with rejection. That failing grade, that rejection from your dream college, the clique that doesn’t care to let you in, your parents when they say, “No, honey, you can’t come with us tonight. This is a grown folks party.” We have all been under rejection’s cloud before. At the surface, it doesn’t always seem so gloomy, but internally it sure in the heck is. (See, I’m trying not to swear because children will be reading this blog. Clean it up, adults! We’re young adults, but we are models to the youth.)
Rejection travels the same mental avenues that pain does. This means people who fear rejection view it as a source of pain. In order to avoid this sting, they will halt all things that could potentially result in it. If you are on the receiving end of the blow of rejection, your ego and esteem will take a swing downward. In essence, all things that cause us sorrow can be viewed as pain, but rejection itself is a representative.
Amazingly enough, researchers have found that Tylenol can reduce said stress. Isn’t that something? If you take a serious blow to the ego or self-esteem that can ease your pain because in essence rejection is pain, remember? Our minds are powerful, which is why so many people say, “Think positive thoughts or suffer the consequences.” Well, what are the consequences? Quite frankly that is an unending list, but the road it leads to is very familiar. That road is Never Try Again Avenue, adjacent to Mundane Boulevard. Ultimately, solitude.
Fear titters on multiple nerves, countless types of situations, and even personal shortcomings. All of this causes us to beat ourselves to a pope, mentally. Sometimes physically, it depends.
How Do We Combat This? How Can I Conquer It?
You have to address the very issue that led you to fearing rejection. As I’ve said in previous Fear Series blogs, easier said than done. To soothe emotional sorrows we have to embrace them. Running away is never the way to go, and deep down you know that! We have to stop allowing rejection to rule us. It keeps the Amazing Self far from the service. Who is the Amazing Self? You on your best day. You when you’re fearless. You whenever you have done something you swore you could never do. You even when you think you’re not.