The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect
and beginning the work of becoming yourself. – Anna
It is entirely too easy to lose yourself in this world. You know you have when you begin to question every second of every day, and how you “measure up” to this, that, and the other. It’s incredible how quickly egos can wipe out all signs of human compassion and connectivity. What we see becomes nothing short of twisted illusions (see Jasemine-Denise’s novel Twisted Illusions). We’ve been immersed in an era infatuated with reality TV and social media – anything that can make anyone feel famous, beautiful, and valued. This is where your true self can be lost because you feel you need to keep up with the changes. It is natural to wonder within that scheme where we fit in, but it is not fair to us to forget the grand scheme.
Why is it unfair?
Because the beautiful, eccentric girl with the quirky personality and playful smile lost her joy trying to fit in. She doesn’t like herself anymore because she never saw any glamours star on TV behave like her. She wants to be perfect and can only see herself as imperfect.
Because the curly haired boy with the freckles stopped snickering at his wild and crazy antics. Some guy in his class relentlessly called him out of his name for acting like “a fool”, using the most derogatory terms he could muster to shut him down. It worked. Now, he’s just a shell of who he was.
So, they took on brand new personas to protect themselves from being “too different”. They banished their true selves from the surface, and buried them 6 feet under. They are focused on the opinion of the world and others, so much that they forgot where they came from. They forgot they are kings and queens, and descendants of a true King.
Time flies by…
They can’t remember who they are anymore. They are so engrossed in their manufactured self. They even managed to get some “certified fleek” girls on their team and “sexy fine” boys to acknowledge them. They are now the admired instead of the admirers. But their picture is worn. It is changing. Think…Dorian Grey. What was meant to be eternally perfect and fashioned after something (supposedly) greater, is corrupted. The original story formulated especially for their imperfectly perfect personalities, unique souls, and profound lives is now the mirror image of someone else’s.
So, where’s the tragedy? Why is changing ourselves to fit in and make friends such a bad thing, V? …It isn’t. It isn’t a bad thing to make a few changes, but I consider it a sad thing to wipe out who you are out of fear of being what you were meant to be.
This is a fear we share at different stages in life. It ranges from high school to work. For some, it lasts a lifetime. We share this need to be what we view as better than us. Very few realize, no one is better than anyone else. We are our own worse critic, yes, but we don’t have to press delete on who we are. We pick ourselves apart and take the “best pieces” of others and then what? That which is best for one is not better for all.
Now, let’s say you met a guy or girl who could’ve loved you to death, but couldn’t stand the image you projected. Let’s say you were out looking for new friends, met a couple potentials, but you said something offensive your original copy said to his friends. It worked for him and not for you. Now what?
Face yourself by looking in the mirror and admitting who you are. That’s generally the first step. You have to accept you before you can let anyone else accept you. You deserve it. I say this in nearly every blog because it is true. You deserve to be accepted as you are, and all the damn time. You could be the person that was made to change the world, but no one could ever know if you don’t follow your own path. Be true to your strengths, your weaknesses, your mission, your cause, whatever it is! Be true to yourself. This an be easier said than done, but to do it is to guarantee every success you encounter was done with your own talent, skill, drive, etc. Keep looking in that mirror and reminding yourself how awesome you are.